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[Dazai has made the grave mistake of being fun to pass the time with. Explains why Nikolai Overcoats directly into the room with no warning.]
Excuse the intrusion. I'm trespassiiing~!
Excuse the intrusion. I'm trespassiiing~!
(OH, a nikol. sorry nikol, dazai's clown self is a bit in a mood. he'll raise a hand to hopefully touch the clown, but he makes zero efforts to leave the joint bed he shares with chuuya. )
Eh, Nikoleya, what if I was with a lady... Voyeur tendencies on you, you know...
(muffled from under a pillow.)
Eh, Nikoleya, what if I was with a lady... Voyeur tendencies on you, you know...
(muffled from under a pillow.)
... No. It won't make a difference.
(but his face presses stronger against the skin, as to keep himself grounded as he slowly unrolls. most visible are the merciless choking marks left by gogol, the bites he's been receiving from chuuya, kaeya, and the aforementioned clown. at it least it covers, well, all the scars, from all the times his neck was the target that he chose to attack as he tried to leave.
he has to distance to remove his shirt, but even before, even as he does, there's not a moment where his eyes meet chuuya's. he's never let a soul see it - and yet, here he is. his breathing is so heavy it might drown him.)
(but his face presses stronger against the skin, as to keep himself grounded as he slowly unrolls. most visible are the merciless choking marks left by gogol, the bites he's been receiving from chuuya, kaeya, and the aforementioned clown. at it least it covers, well, all the scars, from all the times his neck was the target that he chose to attack as he tried to leave.
he has to distance to remove his shirt, but even before, even as he does, there's not a moment where his eyes meet chuuya's. he's never let a soul see it - and yet, here he is. his breathing is so heavy it might drown him.)
Edited 2023-05-10 02:47 (UTC)
[Part of Chuuya wants to point out that this isn't necessary-- that Dazai could just show him his backside, that stripping in front of him wasn't needed. Not because Chuuya's uncomfortable with it, but because Dazai clearly is.
But Dazai's making a choice here, and Chuuya doesn't want him to feel pressured one way or another, so he sits back on his heels, quiet as Dazai works at the bandages. Part of him wants to reach out and help, but for the same reason he refrains. This has to be Dazai's choice.
He recognizes the marks he's left there, the marks others have left. He's never been a particularly soft lover, after all, and he knows Dazai enjoys that. He knows it's everything else that will be.... an issue, for Dazai.]
But Dazai's making a choice here, and Chuuya doesn't want him to feel pressured one way or another, so he sits back on his heels, quiet as Dazai works at the bandages. Part of him wants to reach out and help, but for the same reason he refrains. This has to be Dazai's choice.
He recognizes the marks he's left there, the marks others have left. He's never been a particularly soft lover, after all, and he knows Dazai enjoys that. He knows it's everything else that will be.... an issue, for Dazai.]
(god bless this mess.)
i am not, koto-chan. just the usual amount of alcoholism. how may i help you?
i am not, koto-chan. just the usual amount of alcoholism. how may i help you?
[ written during dazai's week absence on a piece of paper with calligraphy ink; in russian; the letters are all carefully penned down, as if its author considered each word with deliberation—the consequences of even sharing some sort of inner thought having been factored in and deemed acceptable. ]
Дадзая,
I could use your mother tongue to pen down this letter but I find myself in no real need to indulge in a language that for me has always felt heavy and foreign. Japanese was only the fourth language I learnt when younger, following Ukrainian. I trust that I need not tell you why that was my third language of choice after my beloved Russian and dour English. Regardless, you are not here right now for me to share these thoughts with you, and even if you were they wouldn't be relevant to our conversation.
For we have made an agreement, you and I, to set aside our personal goals and grudges in order to find a way home. If what happened to you is similar to what befell me a few months ago, your return might find you lacking in memories of this and other events. While it is true that I could put in motion things now that you're not here to meddle, I trust that Chuuya-san would make sure I adhere to the letter of the law (or, really, plan despite there being nothing but a verbal agreement). And while his current drunken state is something to be taken advantage of, I want you to know that I have done no such thing. Your beloved partner is safe from me here.I cannot help but wonder what it is like to hold such loyalty, such emotions by choice and not by force. Should it make me jealous to see the devotion there? Ah, but we've never spoken of devotion and needs- [ neatly crossed out but legible if dazai really wants to ]
However, such a promise cannot be upheld back home. His strength is an asset I find myself unwilling to relinquish in our prison break game. Please don't judge me too harshly for my bluntness, I have always found it best we know where we stand. That is why my investigations into this world, it's magic, and everything else will continue until you return. If you return. Given the lack of memories on my part (and let me reiterate that this is unimportant, there is nothing I am lacking that could be of importance) I have taken to recording things in a book.
Those will be stored in Lupin, as I trust you to find them there, and keep them unaltered. I would store them in my current room but I would prefer that knowledge remain undisclosed. I don't trust you—and by proxy I cannot trust those who have been here as long as you and are under your command. Am I jealous that you were able to get Gogol to agree to refrain from killing me right now? Perhaps. After all, loyalty is such a difficult thing to hold between my fingers. Devotion, in any case, seems impossible. My prayers to God will have to suffice and sustain me.
But I will not bore you with philosophical musings that have no bearing on us.
This world is filled with magic of a kind that is absent in our own; ghosts? faeries? I found that zombies and werewolves and vampires back home were fantastical enough were they not explained by the pollution of uncontrolled abilities. The abilities found in this world from other world brought in, are different and therefore not a focus of elimination. What goes on in other worlds is their affair, I am not God after all. A common misunderstanding I've found—I am not God nor do I aspire to be, I merely do His will.
Not that I expect you to understand this reasoning or accept it. You said to me that there's nothing wrong with humans being sinful and foolish, and I wonder why. Surely you can recognise me as someone equal to you in intellect and reasoning. Then you also pointed out that God cares not for order, have you met Him? Hold this question close to your chest, perhaps one day we will be able to talk with open frankness. If by some chance we both survive back home, I have no doubt that you'll have plenty of opportunity to revise your thoughts on the matter. But, as sad as it is to lose a chess partner, the wheels are set in motion—and my previous attempts at taking your life haven't been true, after all, that sniper could've taken you out entirely. Had Nikolai not released you, I would have left you at the bottom of Meursault to wait for the end to finish, is this sentimental? Perhaps. [ again, neatly struck out but legible if dazai intends to give it a solid try ]
My apologies, but if this is to be the first letter during your absence, I wanted to make sure to get the details of back home out of the way. Now, the next one will take care to update anything of note.
If you don't mind, I will take the liberty to remind you in advance that you really ought to apologise to Chuuya-san when you return. Your absence clearly has had a significant effect.I wonder what that feels like—to miss, and to be missed? How have you obtained such affection? [ crossed out a little more aggressively than the others ]
-Dostoevsky
[ no fancy sign-off or goodbye, clearly intended to be the start of a record for dazai to read upon his return. the letter is stored in lupin, inconspicuously tucked between a bottle of vodka and one of whiskey. ]
Дадзая,
I could use your mother tongue to pen down this letter but I find myself in no real need to indulge in a language that for me has always felt heavy and foreign. Japanese was only the fourth language I learnt when younger, following Ukrainian. I trust that I need not tell you why that was my third language of choice after my beloved Russian and dour English. Regardless, you are not here right now for me to share these thoughts with you, and even if you were they wouldn't be relevant to our conversation.
For we have made an agreement, you and I, to set aside our personal goals and grudges in order to find a way home. If what happened to you is similar to what befell me a few months ago, your return might find you lacking in memories of this and other events. While it is true that I could put in motion things now that you're not here to meddle, I trust that Chuuya-san would make sure I adhere to the letter of the law (or, really, plan despite there being nothing but a verbal agreement). And while his current drunken state is something to be taken advantage of, I want you to know that I have done no such thing. Your beloved partner is safe from me here.
However, such a promise cannot be upheld back home. His strength is an asset I find myself unwilling to relinquish in our prison break game. Please don't judge me too harshly for my bluntness, I have always found it best we know where we stand. That is why my investigations into this world, it's magic, and everything else will continue until you return. If you return. Given the lack of memories on my part (and let me reiterate that this is unimportant, there is nothing I am lacking that could be of importance) I have taken to recording things in a book.
Those will be stored in Lupin, as I trust you to find them there, and keep them unaltered. I would store them in my current room but I would prefer that knowledge remain undisclosed. I don't trust you—and by proxy I cannot trust those who have been here as long as you and are under your command. Am I jealous that you were able to get Gogol to agree to refrain from killing me right now? Perhaps. After all, loyalty is such a difficult thing to hold between my fingers. Devotion, in any case, seems impossible. My prayers to God will have to suffice and sustain me.
But I will not bore you with philosophical musings that have no bearing on us.
This world is filled with magic of a kind that is absent in our own; ghosts? faeries? I found that zombies and werewolves and vampires back home were fantastical enough were they not explained by the pollution of uncontrolled abilities. The abilities found in this world from other world brought in, are different and therefore not a focus of elimination. What goes on in other worlds is their affair, I am not God after all. A common misunderstanding I've found—I am not God nor do I aspire to be, I merely do His will.
Not that I expect you to understand this reasoning or accept it. You said to me that there's nothing wrong with humans being sinful and foolish, and I wonder why. Surely you can recognise me as someone equal to you in intellect and reasoning. Then you also pointed out that God cares not for order, have you met Him? Hold this question close to your chest, perhaps one day we will be able to talk with open frankness. If by some chance we both survive back home, I have no doubt that you'll have plenty of opportunity to revise your thoughts on the matter. But, as sad as it is to lose a chess partner, the wheels are set in motion—
My apologies, but if this is to be the first letter during your absence, I wanted to make sure to get the details of back home out of the way. Now, the next one will take care to update anything of note.
If you don't mind, I will take the liberty to remind you in advance that you really ought to apologise to Chuuya-san when you return. Your absence clearly has had a significant effect.
-Dostoevsky
[ no fancy sign-off or goodbye, clearly intended to be the start of a record for dazai to read upon his return. the letter is stored in lupin, inconspicuously tucked between a bottle of vodka and one of whiskey. ]
(after his return, naturally, he goes to lupin. it's not great to go downstairs in crutches when both legs are in casts, but he needs to see how things are with his own two eyes. the dust is awfully telling for his eye, and after reading it through, he has to send a message back.)
ah, seems like you've missed me, fyodor.
ah, seems like you've missed me, fyodor.
[ politeness is what drives him; social niceties are so easy, so crucial, so much part of the cycle that fyodor follows. he can pray and he can offer confession; he cannot feel like others do and in this he cannot do anything but mimicry.
is it odd to buy the person you were trying to kill a cupcake and put a candle on it? yes, but this is also fyodor and dazai and their interactions had never been conventional, even if this act is conventional. ]
is it odd to buy the person you were trying to kill a cupcake and put a candle on it? yes, but this is also fyodor and dazai and their interactions had never been conventional, even if this act is conventional. ]
(the knock on the door isn't a surprise, but the man behind it is. he can't help but wonder - is this one more of his impulsive acts, such as he had done when he got dazai his first pair of shoes in this place?
the smile can't be helped. it's cute, actually.)
Ah, so you did know.
(naturally. that's not the surprise.)
the smile can't be helped. it's cute, actually.)
Ah, so you did know.
(naturally. that's not the surprise.)
[ On Dazai's birthday he'll find a certain bottle of liquor returned to him on his bedside dresser. Bow and card included! Addressed with a "Dearest Dazai~" the handwriting wishing him a "Happy Birthday!" inside is actually quite nice. The lines are elegant and the i's are dotted with hearts and all.
Also the bottle is very much poisoned. ]
Also the bottle is very much poisoned. ]
Oh, loving, charming, wonderful Nikolai, how endearing of you to provide me with the birthday gift of my dreams.
Want to drink with me? ♡
(PLEASE NIKOLAI THIS IS VERY PREDICTABLE.)
Want to drink with me? ♡
(PLEASE NIKOLAI THIS IS VERY PREDICTABLE.)
Edited 2023-06-21 20:39 (UTC)
[Chuuya hadn't done a whole lot for Dazai's birthday so as to not overwhelm him, but he did put some effort in. Fresh crab cooked just the way Dazai likes it, some good booze to drink after, and a (hopefully) enjoyable evening.]
So since I was pretty sure you probably wouldn't want much of anything but booze, I decided your gift is gonna be this: You can have any one thing from me tonight, within sanity of course.
[He is absolutely assuming it's going to be a sex thing.]
So since I was pretty sure you probably wouldn't want much of anything but booze, I decided your gift is gonna be this: You can have any one thing from me tonight, within sanity of course.
[He is absolutely assuming it's going to be a sex thing.]
(he could get used to this, but he probably won't. such a nice thing to be celebrated, even if it's for a grim reminder that he breathes -- at least he gets crab, and it had been delicious. how long has it been since chuuya cooked him a meal in such good spirits? the man must be tired, taking care of dazai's injuries, processing corruption, processing abandonment. dazai recognizes the effort, there's no way he couldn't.
his own glass gets filled as he fills chuuya's, one hand moving to hold chuuya's. it's soft, small in his own, and he smiles as he brings it to his lips. an innocent kiss to the knuckles, for once, of silent appreciation.)
Ah, can't I simply ask for a kiss, and leave the kink to when my legs work?
his own glass gets filled as he fills chuuya's, one hand moving to hold chuuya's. it's soft, small in his own, and he smiles as he brings it to his lips. an innocent kiss to the knuckles, for once, of silent appreciation.)
Ah, can't I simply ask for a kiss, and leave the kink to when my legs work?
[They're in the inn room when the topic comes up. Dazai is being clingy and needy, clearly with certain goals in mind, and Chuuya--
Pauses mid-kiss, a question falling from his mouth as he tugs Dazai away by a grip on his hair.]
Hey, why did you tell Fyodor we've been doing this anyway? He asked a lot of weird questions.
Pauses mid-kiss, a question falling from his mouth as he tugs Dazai away by a grip on his hair.]
Hey, why did you tell Fyodor we've been doing this anyway? He asked a lot of weird questions.
(he's been unbelievably horny, after being idle for so long. the technology the locals have been applying on dazai works enough for him to stand, healing faster than he would. crutches help, no longer casts, and he is hungry with the way he devours chuuya's mouth as he sneaks his hands to the ass. he's so excited!! it's been so long!!--
what.)
I haven't told him anything. Now, if you'll excuse me...
(HE'S NOT THINKING, TOO HORNY, MUST KISS, GOING FOR ANOTHER KISS.)
what.)
I haven't told him anything. Now, if you'll excuse me...
(HE'S NOT THINKING, TOO HORNY, MUST KISS, GOING FOR ANOTHER KISS.)
Ya… Yha son of a bitch, just ‘cause i won’t fuck you ONCE yha pull a disappearing act?
Go fuck yerself!!!
[that slurring is a heavy indicator Chuuya is utterly wasted.]
Go fuck yerself!!!
[that slurring is a heavy indicator Chuuya is utterly wasted.]
[ the cramped space that fyodor is using to plan things is still unwelcoming despite the gifts from chuuya and the addition of a second chair for visiting individuals. the bed is barely large enough to fit fyodor, though the bed has been made, covered with the extra blanket gifted. it was not exactly cold, but it was damp at night.
there is a plate with a half-eaten pastry and five cups with remains of tea on the table with the papers, books and laptop. it's untidy, erratic—much how fyodor can be when he gets into the mindset of working.
from his own chair, ankle resting over his knee, he stares at dazai flatly. ] If I had known letting one of you in here meant the rest would follow, I would have not ever invited anyone in. [ then, a little softer: ] My prediction was that you'd be gone longer, Osamu.
there is a plate with a half-eaten pastry and five cups with remains of tea on the table with the papers, books and laptop. it's untidy, erratic—much how fyodor can be when he gets into the mindset of working.
from his own chair, ankle resting over his knee, he stares at dazai flatly. ] If I had known letting one of you in here meant the rest would follow, I would have not ever invited anyone in. [ then, a little softer: ] My prediction was that you'd be gone longer, Osamu.
You wouldn't have to invite me.
(he made a little list of all the places the rat has been seen, please, he would definitely has found this place - just as much as he is sure fyodor is aware of both his chasms. it'd be impossible for both of them to not have a place to hide.
he might be in the chair, but dazai's laying wherever resembles a bed, uncaring about the lack of comfort. he lived in a shipping container, this is by no means foreign.)
Ah, so you knew I'd run for a little? How was your vacation?
(he made a little list of all the places the rat has been seen, please, he would definitely has found this place - just as much as he is sure fyodor is aware of both his chasms. it'd be impossible for both of them to not have a place to hide.
he might be in the chair, but dazai's laying wherever resembles a bed, uncaring about the lack of comfort. he lived in a shipping container, this is by no means foreign.)
Ah, so you knew I'd run for a little? How was your vacation?
[ With his policy of not drinking during work hours, Sigma doesn't drink a lot on his off hours either. He doesn't balk at the idea or anything, he's just a social creature who hadn't had much opportunity to drink socially until this whole other worlds mess happened, and even then the one who invites it most often is a much, much more experienced drinker.
Sigma tries his best to keep his consumption responsible, but that threshold was crossed a little while ago tonight. He's practically hanging off Dazai, who was enough of a gentleman to escort him home, refusing to unwrap the arm he has around one of his escort's while he's rummaging around in his pockets for his keys. ]
Just...just a moment. Sorry.
Sigma tries his best to keep his consumption responsible, but that threshold was crossed a little while ago tonight. He's practically hanging off Dazai, who was enough of a gentleman to escort him home, refusing to unwrap the arm he has around one of his escort's while he's rummaging around in his pockets for his keys. ]
Just...just a moment. Sorry.
(not such a bad thing, to drink and lose up a little every once in a while. to dazai, that's almost fundamental - a moment to calm the million rapid thoughts that cross his mind, all the schemes in a box when he is enjoying the buzz alcohol brings. that said, he's not remotely as drunk as sigma, so for security reasons, he's here, taking care of the other.
good thing he's patient, waiting for the door to open so he can set sigma to avoid a hangover the next day.)
Hey, hey, no worries. Give me the key? I'll help you out.
good thing he's patient, waiting for the door to open so he can set sigma to avoid a hangover the next day.)
Hey, hey, no worries. Give me the key? I'll help you out.
Edited 2023-09-02 00:12 (UTC)
[ it's been a few days, fyodor goes find dazai because dazai is usually never this quiet unless something is deeply wrong.
...and honestly, someone needs to let in some light into this place but you know what, fyodor isn't going to judge this too harshly. ]
Dazai, you need to go outside and drink some water.
[ he can't believe he's saying this when he's usually the basement dweller. ]
...and honestly, someone needs to let in some light into this place but you know what, fyodor isn't going to judge this too harshly. ]
Dazai, you need to go outside and drink some water.
[ he can't believe he's saying this when he's usually the basement dweller. ]
(a grunt is all he does. go out when he can barely find the motivation to sit is rather complicated? drink water? why? dear lord, his head is killing him. there's a moment that's a sigh in response.
love him. he's so exhausted, fy.)
love him. he's so exhausted, fy.)
DIRECTED TO: DAZAI OSAMU
LISTED CRIME: WOMANIZING AND DRUG USE
The Council has selected you for sentencing to atone for the above listed crimes. You are directed to turn yourself in within two (2) hours of receiving this message, or you will be forcibly detained. You are to meet the Council's representative outside of City Hall in order to respond to this summons.
Respectfully,
Jerry
LISTED CRIME: WOMANIZING AND DRUG USE
The Council has selected you for sentencing to atone for the above listed crimes. You are directed to turn yourself in within two (2) hours of receiving this message, or you will be forcibly detained. You are to meet the Council's representative outside of City Hall in order to respond to this summons.
Respectfully,
Jerry
(very interesting. time to see what this person is like! he has two hours, correct? let's test some things. he's watching closely.)
what if i like being forcibly detained so in that case it's a reward not a punishment?
what if i like being forcibly detained so in that case it's a reward not a punishment?
Dazai-san, I just got a message from somebody named Jerry telling me that I'm to report to City Hall for judgement of my crime by the Council within two hours, or they'll forcibly detain me.
[She doesn't sound overly worried in her voice, at least; it's the same serious, matter-of-fact tone she'd use for a mission.]
[She doesn't sound overly worried in her voice, at least; it's the same serious, matter-of-fact tone she'd use for a mission.]
(in russian because YES)
ok so if dazai is dating fyodor, and fyodor is dating nikolai, and nikolai is ????? dazai, whos flying the plane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so if dazai is dating fyodor, and fyodor is dating nikolai, and nikolai is ????? dazai, whos flying the plane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh, so you do keep track of me
never doubted it for a second.
never doubted it for a second.
[ Oh dear, not again...
Careful as he is to use his time wisely and always be as prompt as possible, Sigma rarely clocks out on time. There's always just a few more things to do, one more thing he has to check, et cetera et cetera, so he's usually still at Lupin well after closing. It's never really been a problem, still isn't, but.
But lately Dazai's been here well after closing too. Well after closing--Sigma isn't sure Dazai even leaves between when he finally does and comes back in. So when he finds Dazai slumped over at the bar as he's ready to leave, he suddenly. Isn't.
So with a quiet sigh he does his best to sneak closer, trying to get a feel for whether the other man's out cold or just having a quick lay down. ]
Careful as he is to use his time wisely and always be as prompt as possible, Sigma rarely clocks out on time. There's always just a few more things to do, one more thing he has to check, et cetera et cetera, so he's usually still at Lupin well after closing. It's never really been a problem, still isn't, but.
But lately Dazai's been here well after closing too. Well after closing--Sigma isn't sure Dazai even leaves between when he finally does and comes back in. So when he finds Dazai slumped over at the bar as he's ready to leave, he suddenly. Isn't.
So with a quiet sigh he does his best to sneak closer, trying to get a feel for whether the other man's out cold or just having a quick lay down. ]
(he's not a person who sleeps very often, or very much. cat naps, and it must be in the complete darkness, the slightest sound enough to awaken him. he lives between here, the law firm, and the room in the inn he's using to change and bathe. he never needed much more, quite frankly. he had a home, and then no more. he had several pieces, and then no more. so, he's very done!
the bar it is. the steps do awaken him, enough for him to move his eyemask out of a single eye to see who interrupts his slumber.)
Oh. You're not going to charge me overtime, are you?
the bar it is. the steps do awaken him, enough for him to move his eyemask out of a single eye to see who interrupts his slumber.)
Oh. You're not going to charge me overtime, are you?
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