nullificates

[Oh my god, isn't she the high schooler here?? She can't help it -- she bursts out laughing while he's choking, because that's one heck of an extreme reaction. Worse than any member of SEES accused of something so heinous as liking a person.]

If you don't like him, why do you want to bring back sandwiches for him?

[Her eyes are sparkling with mirth as she asks her question, munching the last few bites of her sandwich.]

I don't wanna die with pain, this is an awful way to try and kill me--

(his voice is even hoarse from all the coughing, please, kotone, PLEASE.)

Because I live with him. If I'm nice once in a while, he's zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent less irritating, Koto-chan.

[She can't help it; she's still giggling at him. At least if he dies from this, it's with the knowledge that it made Kotone laugh and not feel bad about it at all.]

Uh-uh, dying isn't allowed on a picnic. [She crumples up the paper wrapping and reaches into the bag for one of the jars of water, passing that across to him to help clear his throat.] Sounds like a lot of work for someone to be incrementally less annoying. Don't worry, I won't tell him.

[She's got your number, mister, even if you don't.]

(oh, please, thank you, this will wash that awful taste in his mouth, bless her.)

Thing is, Kotone-chan. He's infuriatingly annoying, but we've been partners for years and years and years and years. Having him in my corner is a good thing, and he needs me, too, as much as we both can't stand the other, so sometimes being nice is advantageous. I haven't told you his deal, have I?

Hmm...

[She hums and takes another sandwich for herself, settling in for the story. If they've been partners for so long, have they considered... being nice to each other...]

You told me he walks on the ceiling, but that's about it.

(no chuuya can die on a ditch and chuuya is responsible for many contusions on dazai thanks but no thanks)

Ah, yes. 'Upon the Tainted Sorrow'. He manipulates gravity, and for specifics on what I'm going to say, it's up to him to tell, but if he overdoes it, he for sure will die, you know. He needs me to touch him if that happens. It's always been me strategizing, and Chuuya being the muscle, so. It's an awful, disgusting prank of fate.

(he's not telling her that out of a need to share. he doesn't know this place. he doesn't know if anything could mess with their abilities, if it could bring 'corruption' out of chuuya against his will. it's a matter of prevention, a gazillion plans in his mind for each contingency plan.)

Ugh, stuck, stuck, disgusting.

[She hums again, not sure she follows. It still sounds like a 'doth protest too much' kind of thing, but it's not her business to tell Dazai how he should live his life. The obvious answers are, "get new muscle and get rid of Chuuya" at the very extreme and the very basic, "just live somewhere else," but again: not her business.]

I've never had a partner for "years and years and years," so I guess I don't really get it, [she says instead, returning to her teacup without losing her smile.]

(can't, kotone!! chuuya is an ultimate muscle dazai can manipulate very easily and shares a hivemind with!! it makes plans and schemes easier!! and he can't live somewhere else, because he sort of sold chuuya and himself to fyodor. so.)

That means you're living well, if you don't have a partner like that. We were half the profits of the Mafia in two years, that is a lotta work. I don't even have a high school diploma! Or a middle school diploma! Or a college diploma! Zero diplomas.

[Yikes.]

I don't have a high school diploma, either, [she points out with a shrug. It would have been nice to get one, but that's still a year out and not something she'll ever see, so! At least Akihiko and Mitsuru got theirs.] I'm surprised, though. You're really intelligent, so I figured you'd want to go to school.

[Why Crimes, Dazai?]

You'll most likely get an honorary one. I heard that's what happens.

(when. well, someone dies before they manage to get it.)

I wouldn't have had time. What would you have liked to study, Kotone-chan?

[She wrinkles her nose a little bit at that. What's the point of giving one to a second year? It's not like it would make any of her friends feel better, and she certainly wouldn't be able to use it.]

I don't know, [she admits honestly, washing down another bite of sandwich with a sip of tea.] I worked part-time at a café, at a movie theater, at a healing accessory shop, we did work experience at a burger chain... they were fine, I guess. Not something I'd want to do forever.

[She glances back up at him.] What were you so busy doing that you couldn't go to school?

From those bits of information and what I see in front of me, I think you would have fun in gastronomy, wouldn't you agree?

(kotone's little cafe. maybe that could happen here. feeling sorry over the fact that there might not be a future is a recipe for failure, isn't it?)

I was either hospitalized, home-schooled, or in the Mafia! Right now, technically, it wouldn't be the best time for me to go to school either! I'm busy with Detective work, you see?

Mmm... it might be fun, but I don't know if I want to turn my hobby into a job. Besides, Aragaki-senpai is the one who's really good at cooking. You should have some of the stuff he makes!

[She can do some basics and repurpose ingredients pretty well, considering she's had to prepare her own food for a long time, but as a job... eh. Maybe. She likes listening to music, too, but not enough to make that into a job, either.]

What would you have wanted to study if you could? [She doesn't know if he was hospitalized from his own attempts or from someone else, and that isn't her place to pry into.]

Weapons design? That's a thing, you know.

(he remembers too much, from the little details she drew, to how focused she was. his hands find the back of his head as he rests his back on the towel. ah, nice. being tall makes lying down heaven.)

Mhm. Good question. Foresincs, maybe?

[She laughs.]

Definitely not. This time last year, I'd never even held a weapon. It's nice being able to fight and make a difference, but for the rest of my life...?

[She wrinkles her nose again. It's hard to think about the future in those kinds of terms, doubly so since it's just a thought exercise. She'd figured when she was a third year, she'd start really looking into that, but... well.]

So you're happy being a detective? What kind of cases do you solve?

I'm not saying you'll fight for the rest of your life. You should look at that as a way to provide tools for those who need them... Or nice pieces of decor! That works too! Mhm, if not... Let's see... Kotone-chan... Fashion designer!

(she has a look to her, ok, he's sure she has a good sense of style. again, here's a taste of some sort of freedom. they should look into what she can do to make herself happy, here, for as long as she can.

being stuck on it isn't helpful. he can attest it from experience.)

As much as I can be, yes. We solve cases the police aren't able to, usually too delicate or those that have Ability-users. They range from capturing a man-eating Tiger that just happens to be a kiddo, to, mhm, saving the world!

(VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.)

[She laughs again and just shrugs. She does consider herself relatively well-dressed, but fashion just seemed like Yukari's thing way more than hers. Cooking was Shinjiro's thing, fashion was Yukari's. It seems strange to do them on her own. Even the Sewing Club had just been to hang out with Bebe.]

Maybe... I think I do okay at dressing myself, but I don't know if I'd be any good at making clothes for other people. I used to be in a club with a boy who came all the way from France, though... he made a whole kimono.

[Poor Bebe. He was so difficult to understand sometimes, but his passion didn't need to be explained with words.]

But wait, you mean there was a person pretending to be a tiger?

Kiddo, I hear a lot of 'I don't know', 'this other person does it too', like you can't find your own place within it. You won't know if you'd be any good at anything if you compare with others and if you don't make it yours, too. Try and test and see, Kotone-chan.

(sometimes, just sometimes, dazai doesn't suck so bad.)

Ah, and, no. He turns a tiger! That's his ability, he just didn't know. He also doesn't eat people.

I'm glad he doesn't eat people!

[She sets down her sandwich and holds the jar of tea, relishing what little warmth remains between her hands as she tops off her cup. It's... hard to think about what she wants to do. She's not trying to keep her disquiet from her face as she stares down into the murky liquid with a frown.]

I don't really know what kind of thing I should make mine. I asked Aragaki-senpai about it, a little, and he basically said I should figure it out for myself. That's not so easy to do, though...

It isn't easy, no, especially in your position of near death. I do think you have no other choice than to be here right now, so you should try to do things that mean something to you. He's right in the sense that, no one can find that for you. He never said we can't help, though. Having someone show you a way is a wonderful thing, after all.

(the smile on his face. it's there, but it's almost nostalgic, almost like he's trying to reach for something in his brain that he can't have. odasaku changed him, and he has never stopped breathing and living what odasaku put in his path.

fuck, he misses him every day. it doesn't put a damper on his mood, though, look--)

I'm very tall, you can dress me, I don't mind! Just keep the bandages in mind!

Honestly, I'm happiest when I'm doing things that other people need help with or want to talk about.

[Fuuka and Cooking Club, Bebe and Sewing Club, Rio, Hidetoshi, Ken, Yukari... She spent so much time helping others that she doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. That's kind of funny, isn't it?

She notices that smile on his face and almost asks what he's thinking about, then laughs with surprise when he makes that offer.]

I like the way you dress, Dazai-san! It's a little old-fashioned, but it suits you!

Psychology would suit you, then. I know a thing or two. Or... Many! Many things.

(it's just part of the combo that is being dazai osamu. psychology is needed when one needs to manipulate others, situations, predict outcomes with the same perfect precision and accuracy as he does.

it's part of who he is.)

Eh-- old-fashioned?! I'm perfectly fine for my world! Have you seen the others?! Eh?!!!

Hmmm... could you teach me some?

[She set the jar down and rests her chin in her hand, elbow on her knee. If it's something he knows a lot about, maybe she can learn from him and it would be something he'd want to talk about! Instead of just blindly trying to figure out something for her.

But she laughs again at his reaction. Did she say it specifically to get that kind of reaction? Maybe.]

I said it suits you! I can't really picture you in jeans and a t-shirt or anything like that.

Yeah. You talked about the Collective Conscious, for starters. That was a term coined by Carl Jung. To sum up, he argued that a segment of the deepest unconscious mind is genetically inherited and not shaped by personal experience, so some things like deep-seated beliefs and instincts, such as spirituality, sexual behavior, and life and death instincts, all filed under that category. Morals, ethics, and concepts of fairness or right and wrong could be explained in the same way, with the collective unconscious as partially responsible.

(she asked. she received, and he sounds like an encyclopedia, but alas, at least she didn't ask for things he really has seared in his brain. top of his mind, that's part of it.)

... No one wears jeans, Kotone. No one.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject