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[nullificates]

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dazai

osamu

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[nullificates]

(he supposes fyodor has already gotten used to the feeling of no longer human, since he doesn't seem rather annoyed by it. it means dazai gets to intertwine their fingers, look at him one-upping you, fyodor.)

Disagree.

[fatalism]

[ his fingers twitch but he lets it happen, setting their hands between them on the grass. he's not going to pull away and show weakness. ]

Everything bores you in this world eventually, why would I be any different if I become a solved puzzle to you?

[nullificates]

I guess you haven't thought about this yet. If we are the same, can we truly solve the other?

(looking at themselves so closely. solving puzzles in the shape of others is fine, solving oneself? that's the hardest part.)

[fatalism]

Perhaps not for a long time but eventually it'll...end.

[ ...fyodor, please....... ]

[nullificates]

Probably.

(he's not going to deny it. everything he wants will eventually be lost, after all.)

[fatalism]

Then why risk it?

[ fyodor doesn't want that. and it's weird because he..is willing to give up most of everything else. ]

[nullificates]

An answer I simply cannot give you, Fyfy. That's your own to find.

(specially because he struggles with it, too.)

[fatalism]

So we can't just fuck and have this over and done with? [ he lifts their hands a little. the alcohol is finally making its way around his system and he's exhausted and sleepy and tipsy. ]

1/2

[nullificates]

.......

(HOLY DAMN JESUS)

[nullificates]

Depends. What do you want over and done with? What's 'this', Fyodor?

(most likely, it will make it harder to let go when they have to.)

[fatalism]

You find me attractive and want to sleep with me, especially since you haven't touched anyone else since being in prison.

As for why you'd want to sleep with me when you have Chuuya right there, or even Nikolai, I do not understand. But if it would keep you from being weird about touching or wanting to touch me so much, I don't see why we shouldn't just get it over and done with.

If I indulge your curiosity, you'll get bored faster.

[ which isn't exactly the opposite of what you want, fyodor? (shhh it is but) ]

[nullificates]

Why do you want to sleep with me?

(uno reverse card. that last bit is contradictory. input not enough.)

[fatalism]

I don't. [ well, it's not entirely that- it's complicated, fyodor shakes his head ] Well, sex doesn't interest me in the way it interests you.

I am sure you do not need me to explain why that may be the case.

[nullificates]

How unfortunate. I won't do it until it does. Enjoy 'this'!

(with that explodable phony cheeriness.)

[fatalism]

Are you just not delaying the inevitable then? [ maybe, he supposes his mind might not change. ]

Since you are certain you can change my mind. Though what I am supposed to think about sex beyond the fact it's messy, hot and wet, you'll have to explain.

[nullificates]

I won't!

(individuality, fyodor. whatever he feels is his own.)

[fatalism]

But the godling gets it then?

[ he's making an effort here, he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel about wanting to sleep with someone!! ]

[nullificates]

(his face is now screaming GROSS.)

Isn't that something you should ask him?

[fatalism]

[ gotcha ]

Why? Does he want to have sex with me too? I thought that was just you, Dazai-kun.

[nullificates]

Why. Do. You. Think. I. Know. That!? Ask him!!

[fatalism]

Oh? Are you not sharing secrets intimately during the late nights? Or am I simply imagining little mice outside their holes?

[nullificates]

I think you're grossly misreading the Slug and I.

[fatalism]

I am not but very well, I can see you are not ready to delve into those topics in regards to him. Yet, you seem fairly willing in indulging me in those.

[ except for the fact dazai won't fuck him for...whatever reason ]

[nullificates]

(that's the thing, isn't it? fyodor doesn't get the reason. he doesn't understand what dazai means when he refuses - it's not that he doesn't want to.

it's just that, at this time, he doesn't feel like it should be just a peace agreement. fyodor needs to see and feel new things. dazai's a part of that.)

I can't be ready to dwelve on a topic that doesn't exist.

[fatalism]

Oh, I see. Is this an experiment? [ he hums, retrieving his hand and sitting up. it looks like he's tinkering with a thought or two, except fyodor is so far from the bullseye it should be embarrassing for him.

but it's not: ] It does, and is that why you're rejecting me? For him? I suppose that would make some sort of sense.

But still, Dazai-kun, he very much would like to sleep with you-after all, the beds wouldn't be pushed together if it were not so.