Do you think of us when you're all alone? Can you climax from your imagination alone?
(it might be what dazai is after, but it might not, with how he takes the legs to attach his lips and teeth to the inner thigh, a torturous path to the middle of them, if he ever ends up reaching it.)
[ a slight tilt of the head, but the answer is easy: ] Yes, but no. [ he thinks of them yes, but not sexually. he thinks of dazai's gentle hands in his hair, he thinks of nikolai's mania. he thinks of how dazai tastes like smoke. he thinks how nikolai feels warm. pieces of them are impressions in fyodor's mind that replay along with the images.
his body shivers, the feeling of lips and teeth, the teasing and knowing dazai has control. not only of fyodor's movements but of his ability, and of his desire--everything has been placed in dazai's palm. ]
Then what is it you think about when you're alone and needy?
(pliant. a look he doesn't see to this extent on fyodor, and he's going to take full advantage of it. he can see the shivers, see how he wants the touch, and dazai... the dilemma of whether he wants to take the other into his mouth or to have him imagine it himself is hard to explain. he'll figure it out, lips biting way too close, kissing skin that is way too close.)
I-- [ fyodor finds it hard to think when dazai puts his mouth too close but not close enough and he shivers; from need to cold and back to need (he is almost certainly going to catch a cold). ] I don't--when I feel need I seek you out right away, like today.
[ he just thinks-- ] Your mouth, the curve of your smile, your fingers imprinted on my skin.
[ their relationship is far from healthy and conventional; fyodor is suffocating in his devotion, though sincere in it. everything about this act, about this sort of feeling and all it entails is exclusive to the man who wears the ring around his finger.
without him, fyodor would no longer have that sort of desire, no one else would do. it's simple in it's inception, and far too deep to articulate--fyodor may be good with words but just like crime and punishment reach too far deep, so too, does his genuine emotions. ]
No, only when you are with me.
Edited (just adding a line!) 2023-11-01 16:55 (UTC)
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(it might be what dazai is after, but it might not, with how he takes the legs to attach his lips and teeth to the inner thigh, a torturous path to the middle of them, if he ever ends up reaching it.)
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his body shivers, the feeling of lips and teeth, the teasing and knowing dazai has control. not only of fyodor's movements but of his ability, and of his desire--everything has been placed in dazai's palm. ]
no subject
(pliant. a look he doesn't see to this extent on fyodor, and he's going to take full advantage of it. he can see the shivers, see how he wants the touch, and dazai... the dilemma of whether he wants to take the other into his mouth or to have him imagine it himself is hard to explain. he'll figure it out, lips biting way too close, kissing skin that is way too close.)
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[ he just thinks-- ] Your mouth, the curve of your smile, your fingers imprinted on my skin.
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... So have you never?
(if the answer is such, well, it will happen today.)
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without him, fyodor would no longer have that sort of desire, no one else would do. it's simple in it's inception, and far too deep to articulate--fyodor may be good with words but just like crime and punishment reach too far deep, so too, does his genuine emotions. ]
No, only when you are with me.