[ honest to god--fyodor bites dazai while pulling those familiar brown locks, it's not a mean enough bite but it's going to leave a mark, and then another. dazai may wear bandages but the soft skin of his jawline, the juncture between jaw and throat-all of that is going to be covered in love bites by the time fyodor is finished.
unlike dazai who is careful, fyodor isn't being particularly so right now especially after that gasp. ]
he knows fyodor has never seen him without the bandages, and it won't be today that he'll have the full view of his suffering, but a little bit is fine. the one around his wrist is shorter, blended with another, and he's using it to tie fyodor's forearms together.
and he waits to see what kind of expression he's going to make.)
[ his eyes flick down briefly to the revealed skin: paler due to the constant cover of bandages and scarred. so many scars, different ones that paint a canvas on dazai's skin--fyodor moans.
he feels the bandage loop around his forearms restricting his movements. a raised eyebrow as he meets dazai's eyes: challenge, want, curiosity. ]
(it only makes dazai tie it tighter, sliding between the legs as he were not too long ago, only so he can kiss the skin of fyodor's chest a little more comfortably. he never wanted fyodor to be pliant, not for too long. it's a trust test, one he knows never needs to be performed, they don't work like this, but--
watching fyodor's face where he can't control something is such a reward in itself.)
You should tell me what you want me to do to you, Fy.
[ he moves only enough to allow dazai to slide between his legs, to continue doing what he is. fyodor is watching him, curiously now as he asks. control is such an important thing for fyodor but still, he allows without fight. ]
I like everything you do to me Dazai, because it's you who does it.
I know. You've said it before, love, but I won't do a thing before you tell me exactly what you want me to do.
(with how fyodor is right now, sensitive, craving, urging... ah, interesting, isn't it? he will even take some skin and flesh between his teeth to taste.)
[ despite the fact he's already shivering, the feeling of teeth makes fyodor give a whimper; eyes fluttering close, mouth parting as he tries to summon the words. beneath his skin he feels crime and punishment awake but smothered. it is uncomfortable, having this ability, having it be unstable. ]
I'm cold, hold me. [ that seems like a good start, fyodor doesn't know what to ask for. kisses? touches? all he wants is dazai, dazai's soul between his teeth. dazai's everything. ]
(that's a start. it's not unwelcome, much to the contrary. he'd rather take care of fyodor in whichever way fits them best, and he knows he's cold. the sweat and the cool breeze won't do his health well, but it's fine for now. he does wrap arms, gluing bodies together, gluing lips against fair skin as he puts the blankets on top of them.)
[ the shivers running down his body have changed, they're less from overstimulation and more from being actually cold; the moment dazai wraps himself closer, fyodor presses back without hesitation. his hand settles on dazai's hip, thumb running over the jut in circular motion. ]
You can make me come without touching me. That felt good. [ what else? ] Sometimes, very early in the mornings when I'm truly asleep, I hope you'd crawl between my legs and fuck me awake.
I don't think I could ever sleep with anyone else aside from Nikolai and not think of you.
[ the previous bite that drew blood stings pleasantly, and this new one causes fyodor to jerk--wanting to lean into it but also pull away from the pleasure-pain that surges through him. ] I did. [ which means not just that but that he would do it again if asked, that he is curious enough to explore it but-- ]
Not in the near future, his dead face follows me. It puts me off.
[ ........fyodor please.
instead, he goes back to pressing the line of his body against dazai as if trying to drown both himself and his ability within dazai and no longer human. ]
(the bandages that keep his hands together, well, they're going for a little travel to the bedpost, where he places it securely. fyodor will not move much like this, the pillar between his wrists, and as soon as he's done, he's back to worshipping the skin, lips against the fairness of fyodor's abdomen, a lick that might indicate where he's planning to go.)
[ hands together, held with those bandages on the bedpost, fyodor only squirms enough to try and get comfortable and have dazai as close as possible. he rewards each touch of lips with sound since his hands are occupied.
breathless:]
Ask. What is it you'd like to know?
[ apparently this is a great way of getting fyodor to cooperate with questions ]
Do you think of us when you're all alone? Can you climax from your imagination alone?
(it might be what dazai is after, but it might not, with how he takes the legs to attach his lips and teeth to the inner thigh, a torturous path to the middle of them, if he ever ends up reaching it.)
[ a slight tilt of the head, but the answer is easy: ] Yes, but no. [ he thinks of them yes, but not sexually. he thinks of dazai's gentle hands in his hair, he thinks of nikolai's mania. he thinks of how dazai tastes like smoke. he thinks how nikolai feels warm. pieces of them are impressions in fyodor's mind that replay along with the images.
his body shivers, the feeling of lips and teeth, the teasing and knowing dazai has control. not only of fyodor's movements but of his ability, and of his desire--everything has been placed in dazai's palm. ]
Then what is it you think about when you're alone and needy?
(pliant. a look he doesn't see to this extent on fyodor, and he's going to take full advantage of it. he can see the shivers, see how he wants the touch, and dazai... the dilemma of whether he wants to take the other into his mouth or to have him imagine it himself is hard to explain. he'll figure it out, lips biting way too close, kissing skin that is way too close.)
I-- [ fyodor finds it hard to think when dazai puts his mouth too close but not close enough and he shivers; from need to cold and back to need (he is almost certainly going to catch a cold). ] I don't--when I feel need I seek you out right away, like today.
[ he just thinks-- ] Your mouth, the curve of your smile, your fingers imprinted on my skin.
[ their relationship is far from healthy and conventional; fyodor is suffocating in his devotion, though sincere in it. everything about this act, about this sort of feeling and all it entails is exclusive to the man who wears the ring around his finger.
without him, fyodor would no longer have that sort of desire, no one else would do. it's simple in it's inception, and far too deep to articulate--fyodor may be good with words but just like crime and punishment reach too far deep, so too, does his genuine emotions. ]
No, only when you are with me.
Edited (just adding a line!) 2023-11-01 16:55 (UTC)
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fyodor wriggles a little, trying to get closer and make dazai give up--whine, they've gotten loud already, don't deprive him. ]
Very on brand for you but I'm clearly not doing something right if you're saying another man's name in bed right now.
[ and with that fyodor yanks on dazai's hair. ]
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(ah, now it's his turn to face the roughness and the ache? the gasp should tell him that he's into it, despite of what he might say.)
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unlike dazai who is careful, fyodor isn't being particularly so right now especially after that gasp. ]
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he knows fyodor has never seen him without the bandages, and it won't be today that he'll have the full view of his suffering, but a little bit is fine. the one around his wrist is shorter, blended with another, and he's using it to tie fyodor's forearms together.
and he waits to see what kind of expression he's going to make.)
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he feels the bandage loop around his forearms restricting his movements. a raised eyebrow as he meets dazai's eyes: challenge, want, curiosity. ]
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watching fyodor's face where he can't control something is such a reward in itself.)
You should tell me what you want me to do to you, Fy.
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I like everything you do to me Dazai, because it's you who does it.
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(with how fyodor is right now, sensitive, craving, urging... ah, interesting, isn't it? he will even take some skin and flesh between his teeth to taste.)
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I'm cold, hold me. [ that seems like a good start, fyodor doesn't know what to ask for. kisses? touches? all he wants is dazai, dazai's soul between his teeth. dazai's everything. ]
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What else?
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You can make me come without touching me. That felt good. [ what else? ] Sometimes, very early in the mornings when I'm truly asleep, I hope you'd crawl between my legs and fuck me awake.
I don't think I could ever sleep with anyone else aside from Nikolai and not think of you.
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Tell me everything, Fy. Did you enjoy to sleep with both of us that day? Would you want to more?
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Not in the near future, his dead face follows me. It puts me off.
[ ........fyodor please.
instead, he goes back to pressing the line of his body against dazai as if trying to drown both himself and his ability within dazai and no longer human. ]
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That's fair. Answer me a question?
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breathless:]
Ask. What is it you'd like to know?
[ apparently this is a great way of getting fyodor to cooperate with questions ]
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(it might be what dazai is after, but it might not, with how he takes the legs to attach his lips and teeth to the inner thigh, a torturous path to the middle of them, if he ever ends up reaching it.)
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his body shivers, the feeling of lips and teeth, the teasing and knowing dazai has control. not only of fyodor's movements but of his ability, and of his desire--everything has been placed in dazai's palm. ]
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(pliant. a look he doesn't see to this extent on fyodor, and he's going to take full advantage of it. he can see the shivers, see how he wants the touch, and dazai... the dilemma of whether he wants to take the other into his mouth or to have him imagine it himself is hard to explain. he'll figure it out, lips biting way too close, kissing skin that is way too close.)
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[ he just thinks-- ] Your mouth, the curve of your smile, your fingers imprinted on my skin.
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... So have you never?
(if the answer is such, well, it will happen today.)
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without him, fyodor would no longer have that sort of desire, no one else would do. it's simple in it's inception, and far too deep to articulate--fyodor may be good with words but just like crime and punishment reach too far deep, so too, does his genuine emotions. ]
No, only when you are with me.