nullificates: (Default)
osamu "vodka aunt" dazai ([personal profile] nullificates) wrote2023-03-13 10:01 pm

inbox

dazai
osamu
fatalism: (hide blurry eyes like you)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
...I fail to see how this is going to make me repent. As a threat it is not very effective at all.

But do you understand, Dazai? I did not orchestrate whatever it is you accuse me of, I have no interest in that. If it is not freely given then it is pointless.

[ how ironic that he is echoing dazai's words in a way from all those months ago ]
fatalism: (love someone you can't tell is dying)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[ he pauses, clearly having been ready to argue things with the power of drunk logic ]

That's good then. That is fine. But why are you so upset, undoubtedly whatever has struck your mood will be gone tomorrow, and you will find yourself back at your usual things.

Amen.

[ .......he didn't mean to act like his words were just prayer now ]
fatalism: (I'm the best thing at this party)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
It was not intentional on my part, I believe he was trying to explain to me how our own definitions of devotion are different.

Ah, is this why you're angry? It was not intentional, but it is...I do not wish to speak of it in this state. Chuuya-san has done nothing wrong but simply fall prey to my clever words. He is remarkably straightforward and human, I can see why you would pick him.

Even if I feel jealous, I simply do wish to see you both more...content. Is that a strange thing to want for a rival? Perhaps, but here we are all on the same side. Maybe that is different.
fatalism: (Default)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, my apologies then. If it helps I did offer to pour hydrochloric acid to cleanse myself of said image.

I do not think it is a misread of a situation...merely a shift in perspective is required. You do not sound drunk, but sounds are sounds and I do not have your face in front of mine to read as if it were my own.

Wonderful, a manhunt it is. I will let you hunt me for sport as repentance.
fatalism: (too far gone to bring back to life)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
Are you so certain I wouldn't be able to tell? You spent nine months in a cell next to mine, even if Siberia was lost to us both, those nine months were plenty of time to make sure your face is as close to an open book. I will never be able to read your mind as I do others, that is a beautiful thing, while it is also sad. I feel like if I could wear your skin everything might go as I wish.

Very fair observation, I still cannot be sorry for causing this. I'm selfish about this one thing only.

[ us ]
fatalism: (and I wouldn't marry me either)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
Sunshine? Is that not a tad...unfitting? As for your skin, well, I can cut and snip and stitch until it fits just right... [ a longer pause, as if fyodor is basking in the image. ] I need that.

In many ways we are alike and in many others we are divergent, but I will not pry open what secrets you wish to keep. Not right now like this.

Still. My indifference is kinder than my affection, you know.
fatalism: (Default)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
There is no way, in this world or another, that you could ever be ugly in my eyes. [ is he gonna regret those words? lmao ]

Even so, I do not believe that in a good world this would be a normal statement. Affection implies devotion, implies selflessness, implies loyalty and trust.
fatalism: (I'm the best thing at this party)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ his laughter is picked up by the charm; loose and relaxed and clearly if his words were still coherent his laughter is a telltale sign of drunkness. ]

As you once told me, yes all those things may well be true but what's wrong with that?
fatalism: (and I wouldn't marry me either)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I did not. You are always endearing even when I feel the need to push you off a bridge.
fatalism: (how long could we be a sad song)

[personal profile] fatalism 2023-06-25 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[ an awkward pause. and an even more awkward, stilted, thanks: ] I thank you then.