regardless, i would not intentionally sabotage your sexual escapades with the rest of the world. for all that my methods to woo someone would no doubt be heavy-handed, they would be fruitless in the pursuit of what i want. and, ultimately, you are my equal in this world, any trick to make your other lovers leave you would not work.
as god as my witness, i did not 'cockblock' you but neither am i repenting because i am not sorry.
[ ..compensating for his addled drunk state with big words and concepts. yup. ]
yes? though i do not understand why you want the gift of such a name. i omit it for a reason, you were simply lucky in siberia to see someone who knew me, before i was me. a little crawling rat among the pews of the church.
[ spoken now, there is a stunted way in his speech. like he is being careful about to enunciate each word. carefully trying to conceal the slightest slurred edges of the words. ]
...I fail to see how this is going to make me repent. As a threat it is not very effective at all.
But do you understand, Dazai? I did not orchestrate whatever it is you accuse me of, I have no interest in that. If it is not freely given then it is pointless.
[ how ironic that he is echoing dazai's words in a way from all those months ago ]
[ he pauses, clearly having been ready to argue things with the power of drunk logic ]
That's good then. That is fine. But why are you so upset, undoubtedly whatever has struck your mood will be gone tomorrow, and you will find yourself back at your usual things.
Amen.
[ .......he didn't mean to act like his words were just prayer now ]
Ah, since you're here, unrelated, but please, next time you try to pick at Chuuya's brain, may you not think of him kissing his ugly, piece of shit, son of a bitch, old boss? Thank you!
It was not intentional on my part, I believe he was trying to explain to me how our own definitions of devotion are different.
Ah, is this why you're angry? It was not intentional, but it is...I do not wish to speak of it in this state. Chuuya-san has done nothing wrong but simply fall prey to my clever words. He is remarkably straightforward and human, I can see why you would pick him.
Even if I feel jealous, I simply do wish to see you both more...content. Is that a strange thing to want for a rival? Perhaps, but here we are all on the same side. Maybe that is different.
That's not why I'm angry, it's a simple request because ew, Mikhail, simply ew. Have you met Mori? It traumatized even myself by proxy, Mori shouldn't be kissed ever in his miserable life.
Why would I pick him for what, exactly? I think you're misreading the situation again. Either way, I'm unfortunately super drunk, can you tell? So! I'm not going to pick this argument myself, thank you so much!
I do want to say this. I should be home by tomorrow. Even if you don't tell me where you are, I'm finding you.
Ah, my apologies then. If it helps I did offer to pour hydrochloric acid to cleanse myself of said image.
I do not think it is a misread of a situation...merely a shift in perspective is required. You do not sound drunk, but sounds are sounds and I do not have your face in front of mine to read as if it were my own.
Wonderful, a manhunt it is. I will let you hunt me for sport as repentance.
Are you so certain I wouldn't be able to tell? You spent nine months in a cell next to mine, even if Siberia was lost to us both, those nine months were plenty of time to make sure your face is as close to an open book. I will never be able to read your mind as I do others, that is a beautiful thing, while it is also sad. I feel like if I could wear your skin everything might go as I wish.
Very fair observation, I still cannot be sorry for causing this. I'm selfish about this one thing only.
I'm absolutely sure you wouldn't be able to tell. You've never seen me drunk, my dearest sunshine! Ah, I like that. Sunshine? Very positive thinking about wearing my skin, but it'd look a little saggy on you.
(due to the fact he's taller... awful people humor...)
You don't know what you caused to be sorry for something. Wouldn't it be an awfully empty apology in that case? I'm being selfish and keeping it to myself. Two can be selfish!
Sunshine? Is that not a tad...unfitting? As for your skin, well, I can cut and snip and stitch until it fits just right... [ a longer pause, as if fyodor is basking in the image. ] I need that.
In many ways we are alike and in many others we are divergent, but I will not pry open what secrets you wish to keep. Not right now like this.
Still. My indifference is kinder than my affection, you know.
There is no way, in this world or another, that you could ever be ugly in my eyes. [ is he gonna regret those words? lmao ]
Even so, I do not believe that in a good world this would be a normal statement. Affection implies devotion, implies selflessness, implies loyalty and trust.
[ his laughter is picked up by the charm; loose and relaxed and clearly if his words were still coherent his laughter is a telltale sign of drunkness. ]
As you once told me, yes all those things may well be true but what's wrong with that?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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(HE'S SO MAD...)
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[ it really is that simple when he's delightfully drunk ]
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as god as my witness, i did not 'cockblock' you but neither am i repenting because i am not sorry.
[ ..compensating for his addled drunk state with big words and concepts. yup. ]
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[ spoken now, there is a stunted way in his speech. like he is being careful about to enunciate each word. carefully trying to conceal the slightest slurred edges of the words. ]
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Next time I see you, I'm going to kiss you so hard, you're going to see Heaven. It's a promise.
(HE'S SO MAD.)
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But do you understand, Dazai? I did not orchestrate whatever it is you accuse me of, I have no interest in that. If it is not freely given then it is pointless.
[ how ironic that he is echoing dazai's words in a way from all those months ago ]
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[ he pauses, clearly having been ready to argue things with the power of drunk logic ]
That's good then. That is fine. But why are you so upset, undoubtedly whatever has struck your mood will be gone tomorrow, and you will find yourself back at your usual things.
Amen.
[ .......he didn't mean to act like his words were just prayer now ]
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Ah, since you're here, unrelated, but please, next time you try to pick at Chuuya's brain, may you not think of him kissing his ugly, piece of shit, son of a bitch, old boss? Thank you!
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Ah, is this why you're angry? It was not intentional, but it is...I do not wish to speak of it in this state. Chuuya-san has done nothing wrong but simply fall prey to my clever words. He is remarkably straightforward and human, I can see why you would pick him.
Even if I feel jealous, I simply do wish to see you both more...content. Is that a strange thing to want for a rival? Perhaps, but here we are all on the same side. Maybe that is different.
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Why would I pick him for what, exactly? I think you're misreading the situation again. Either way, I'm unfortunately super drunk, can you tell? So! I'm not going to pick this argument myself, thank you so much!
I do want to say this. I should be home by tomorrow. Even if you don't tell me where you are, I'm finding you.
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I do not think it is a misread of a situation...merely a shift in perspective is required. You do not sound drunk, but sounds are sounds and I do not have your face in front of mine to read as if it were my own.
Wonderful, a manhunt it is. I will let you hunt me for sport as repentance.
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(dazai, please, he was offering disfigurement.)
You wouldn't be able to tell from my face, either. Must you really enjoy a man who drinks so much, too?
It's not repentance when I know you're craving for it.
(because he is, too.)
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Very fair observation, I still cannot be sorry for causing this. I'm selfish about this one thing only.
[ us ]
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(due to the fact he's taller... awful people humor...)
You don't know what you caused to be sorry for something. Wouldn't it be an awfully empty apology in that case? I'm being selfish and keeping it to myself. Two can be selfish!
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In many ways we are alike and in many others we are divergent, but I will not pry open what secrets you wish to keep. Not right now like this.
Still. My indifference is kinder than my affection, you know.
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In my experience, that's a normal statement about how things are.
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Even so, I do not believe that in a good world this would be a normal statement. Affection implies devotion, implies selflessness, implies loyalty and trust.
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Relative. Affection also implies desperation, fear of losing, jealousy, monotony and dependence.
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As you once told me, yes all those things may well be true but what's wrong with that?
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You're endearing when you're drunk, did you know!
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