[He leans forward in his chair, putting it on two legs but grounding it with his own feet flat on the floor.] You serious? 'Cause yeah, I'd work for you.
Why wouldn't I be serious? You can even bartend, I really don't give a shit! I just think this is something to explore and support.
(another sip and another little noise of happiness. see? this is why.)
Ah. I also barely make anything from it, most of the profits go to the employees. I really don't care about money when I have a money-making machine at home I can mug.
No shit? Dang, Lala-chan wouldn't let me serve alcohol.
[He tilts his head, but smiles, setting his chair back on all four of its legs and crossing his arms over the back of it.] You're a pretty cool cat, Dazai.
I don't mind if you do. Learning has no age, and mixology is actually really interesting! I'm not that versed in it, but I can teach you some chemistry applied. It creates some really interesting drinks. Who says alcohol is not a solution?
[He perks up, sitting remarkably straight given his usually atrocious posture.] Yeah? My boss back home had a curry recipe-- he didn't make it, but it was scientifically formulated to go well with the house blend of coffee. [He gestures to the thermos in Dazai's grasp.] That's a pale imitation of the same house blend. I have got to find a way to roast my own beans.
[He shoots him double finger guns with a wink.] I'll just have to convince you.
Oh? That makes sense. Cooking is nothing more, nothing less than chemistry, so it's all ways to enhance flavors and bring things together. I know things from theory, but I'm not allowed in the kitchen due to some two, or fifty incidents.
(or him putting weird shit in food to fuck with others, but alas... not the point, he can see how excited the other is, and it's... refreshing. he's always been in the position of a mentor, a teacher, but to teach something so innocent as chemistry feels... funny.)
You've gotta stop being this cute, or I'm going to end up stealing you from Akechi, you know!
[He laughs at that-- how does he keep collecting people who aren't allowed in the kitchen??] You aren't the first person I've known who isn't allowed in a kitchen due to, [He curls his fingers into air quotations.] "incidents".
[And then he balks-- cute, him? He's shell-shocked for a moment, and his ears go slightly red in his mop of wild curls. Speaking of, he reaches up to twist the centermost lock of curls between two fingers.] I don't think Chuuya-san would appreciate that much, you know? [Oh but he's embarrassed. Eat him alive, Dazai.]
[He laughs, a short little crackle of sound that stays mostly in his chest, and his nose wrinkles up with it.] I didn't say dating, but Goro 'n I aren't dating, either. [He makes pointed eye contact. Is that to liken shuake and soukoku, or to leave the suggestion that he isn't tied up from further flirting? Who knows.]
Ah, you laugh, but now, I really want to chug gasoline. Does this place have any? Ugh, disgusting.
(the drama is real, and his face keeps turning more and more disgusted and frozen by the mere idea of actually dating the other. complicated is as complicated does.)
[He makes a quiet "iono" sound with a shrug of his shoulders, and then chokes on his attempt to double back.] --no chugging gasoline!!
[A huff, and his posture folds inward, slightly self-conscious. He fiddles with his hair again.] I mean, maybe he doesn't? I definitely shoved my foot down my entire throat, there.
Ah, he doesn't. I sleep with half the town, and give them his number after. It's actually hilarious. He minds that part.
(poor akira. dazai doesn't feel bad, it's been like this since he was fifteen - the hate that is love, which turns into hate all over again, a never-ending cycle that if they were to break, it'd kill them.)
I've been doing that for years, it's never not funny.
[Strangely, the placid way Dazai talks about his habitual sluttery sobers Akira's embarrassment. He looks back up, mouth quirked crooked, and shakes his head.]
Seems lonely, if you ask me. [Danger, Will Robinson.]
(the end, it's no surprise he's lonely, he's a pit of misery that is hiding as a cheerful person. either way, he shrugs, his coffee nearly over, but the last sip deserves the best compliment. a cigarette.
nothing goes better with coffee than a cigarette. where is his lighter, though... he's mumbling those with the stick in his lips.)
If they aren't, then I'm blaming Chuuya. These are not mine.
(like he does with everything ever, does akira notice. the smoke goes into his lungs and he smiles as it leaves through his nose.)
Anyway. I'll give you some classes of molecular chemistry, but don't worry, it'll be practical, so you won't get any of the boring theory behind it, because I'm very cool like that.
[He ponders that, rolling his head from one side to the other for a moment.] Parkour? But you're a little..., [He gestures to Dazai's bandaged and splinted near-everything.] So just the chemistry is great, actually. Especially with tying it into drinks.
[The watch on his wrist beeps, and he glances down at it, grinning.] Oh, one second. [He gets up, spins his chair back under the table, and scrambles back into his shoes and out the door.]
[And then scrambles back in a little more gracefully, this time with funny litlte oven mitts and a very old-looking donabe. He balances it carefully on one mitted hand to open the door, takes it with both and bumps the door shut with his hip, and steps back out of his shoes to set the pot on the table.]
Think you can get into one of these chairs if I help you? It's fresh, so if I put it on your lap it'd probably burn you, and I don't trust you to not enjoy that.
Ah, Parkour... I can, I just don't like it, ah, so much work...
(however, it is a necessity in both his line of current work and his past one. th beeping makes his head tilt, mostly because he wasn't expecting there to be one, but once he smelled the pot upon return, there's a smile on his lips. ah, akira really is getting some points.
good eye-candy, and look at all this spoiling!!! there's a laugh as he offers an arm.)
I think if we just move me to the chair, it's fine.
(dazai barely eats, so he weighs almost nothing for his size.)
[Akira's grin broadens and he sheds one of two oven mitts, striding over to the bedside and crouching, reaching his arms out.] Not to proud to be bridal-carried by a teenager, are you? That Crab Hot Pot isn't gonna eat itself.
[All right Osamu Matryoshka, prepare to be scooped. Akira is not the strongest twink, but he's startlingly solid for as reedy as he is, so he has absolutely no problem hefting Dazai's 80lbs soaking wet weight. He lifts him carefully and stands, moving him to the chair he'd previously been sitting backward in and just as carefully lowering him into it.]
[And then for the more important part, his still-mitted hand grasps the lid of the donabe and he lifts it away to reveal a pot of molten delicious. He sets the lid aside and drops backward into the opposite chair, presenting Dazai with utensils that he appears to have conjured from thin air (they were probably in his sleeves) and setting his chin in one hand to grin placidly.]
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(another sip and another little noise of happiness. see? this is why.)
Ah. I also barely make anything from it, most of the profits go to the employees. I really don't care about money when I have a money-making machine at home I can mug.
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[He tilts his head, but smiles, setting his chair back on all four of its legs and crossing his arms over the back of it.] You're a pretty cool cat, Dazai.
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(he's a genius, have you noticed? either way.)
I'm actually not, but I'm glad you think so!
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[He shoots him double finger guns with a wink.] I'll just have to convince you.
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(or him putting weird shit in food to fuck with others, but alas... not the point, he can see how excited the other is, and it's... refreshing. he's always been in the position of a mentor, a teacher, but to teach something so innocent as chemistry feels... funny.)
You've gotta stop being this cute, or I'm going to end up stealing you from Akechi, you know!
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[And then he balks-- cute, him? He's shell-shocked for a moment, and his ears go slightly red in his mop of wild curls. Speaking of, he reaches up to twist the centermost lock of curls between two fingers.] I don't think Chuuya-san would appreciate that much, you know? [Oh but he's embarrassed. Eat him alive, Dazai.]
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until akira says that. now his expression is absolutely sour.)
Absolutely disgusting observation. Why do all of you think we're dating? I think I'd rather chug gasoline.
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(the drama is real, and his face keeps turning more and more disgusted and frozen by the mere idea of actually dating the other. complicated is as complicated does.)
Ugh, no, why on Earth would he care?
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[A huff, and his posture folds inward, slightly self-conscious. He fiddles with his hair again.] I mean, maybe he doesn't? I definitely shoved my foot down my entire throat, there.
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(poor akira. dazai doesn't feel bad, it's been like this since he was fifteen - the hate that is love, which turns into hate all over again, a never-ending cycle that if they were to break, it'd kill them.)
I've been doing that for years, it's never not funny.
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Seems lonely, if you ask me. [Danger, Will Robinson.]
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(the end, it's no surprise he's lonely, he's a pit of misery that is hiding as a cheerful person. either way, he shrugs, his coffee nearly over, but the last sip deserves the best compliment. a cigarette.
nothing goes better with coffee than a cigarette. where is his lighter, though... he's mumbling those with the stick in his lips.)
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(like he does with everything ever, does akira notice. the smoke goes into his lungs and he smiles as it leaves through his nose.)
Anyway. I'll give you some classes of molecular chemistry, but don't worry, it'll be practical, so you won't get any of the boring theory behind it, because I'm very cool like that.
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[He grins a moment later, nodding.] Much obliged, sensei.
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[The watch on his wrist beeps, and he glances down at it, grinning.] Oh, one second. [He gets up, spins his chair back under the table, and scrambles back into his shoes and out the door.]
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Think you can get into one of these chairs if I help you? It's fresh, so if I put it on your lap it'd probably burn you, and I don't trust you to not enjoy that.
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(however, it is a necessity in both his line of current work and his past one. th beeping makes his head tilt, mostly because he wasn't expecting there to be one, but once he smelled the pot upon return, there's a smile on his lips. ah, akira really is getting some points.
good eye-candy, and look at all this spoiling!!! there's a laugh as he offers an arm.)
I think if we just move me to the chair, it's fine.
(dazai barely eats, so he weighs almost nothing for his size.)
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(when one may be expecting a joke, a real answer! he's simply a russian doll of surprises. he'll make it easier for akira, cooperate with movement.)
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[And then for the more important part, his still-mitted hand grasps the lid of the donabe and he lifts it away to reveal a pot of molten delicious. He sets the lid aside and drops backward into the opposite chair, presenting Dazai with utensils that he appears to have conjured from thin air (they were probably in his sleeves) and setting his chin in one hand to grin placidly.]
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similar icon for the lolzies
wow twins!
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ignore that this is absolutely akechi's hand
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