I believe it had been simply to get it out of the way because you thought that's what I wanted. Exactly why I decided against it, which made you rather confused, and since you're just learning about it, must be confusing now. Oof-- ugh, this hurts so much! Not the worst injury I've had, but oof!!!
(words to fill the sir. give fyodor a window to process, or change subjects by hopping onto it, all for this man's sake.
That does sound practical. [ to get something out of the way, to give dazai something so fyodor had some sort of leverage on him or to be owed something by dazai. it was a transaction which--alright, fyodor can understand within those parameters why dazai declined if it had been a question of wooing and not just sex. ] Not as such, I think...it makes sense, me giving you something like that as a transaction which is not what you wanted.
[ but he notices the shift of words, the space given for fyodor to process. that's kind and he doesn't know what to do with that when less than two weeks ago he had been trying to kill this man. ] And then I kissed you but it really didn't solve any questions.
[ fyodor tries to withdraw his hand, not out of personal dislike but seeking to think on the words a little without the cooling touch of no longer human. ] How is this not the worst injury you've had? Must I try again?
Huh? You-you got it better than Before-You. You went to ask Chuuya a gazillion questions about it.
(it being, attraction, sex, communication, bonding, humanity. like dazai had flipped a switch of curiosity and misunderstanding altogether. truth be told, the kiss didn't solve anything, but to dazai, it made him happy regardless. he had WORKED for it, and now it came that easy? the world is truly unharmonious.)
I've been in restrains in hospitals my entire life, do you truly think I haven't done worse to myself?
I imagine the reasoning and circumstances were different enough that I required the input of your partner. [ attraction, sex, communication, bonding, humanity—are such difficult things for fyodor to parse through in regards to himself having foregone such things since early on in his life. all those that presented vulnerability and weakness.
perhaps being shot had been good for him.
there may have been, something in the way dazai looked at him that day on the bridge that caused fyodor to kiss him. it hadn't been experienced or soft or what kisses were supposed to be; that is perhaps why he wants to take it back. he's not thinking of trying again, the answer...
his eyes sweep over dazai. ] There are different ways of injuring someone. Body or soul, heart or bones.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(words to fill the sir. give fyodor a window to process, or change subjects by hopping onto it, all for this man's sake.
perhaps he did become soft, after all.)
no subject
[ but he notices the shift of words, the space given for fyodor to process. that's kind and he doesn't know what to do with that when less than two weeks ago he had been trying to kill this man. ] And then I kissed you but it really didn't solve any questions.
[ fyodor tries to withdraw his hand, not out of personal dislike but seeking to think on the words a little without the cooling touch of no longer human. ] How is this not the worst injury you've had? Must I try again?
cw suicide mention
(it being, attraction, sex, communication, bonding, humanity. like dazai had flipped a switch of curiosity and misunderstanding altogether. truth be told, the kiss didn't solve anything, but to dazai, it made him happy regardless. he had WORKED for it, and now it came that easy? the world is truly unharmonious.)
I've been in restrains in hospitals my entire life, do you truly think I haven't done worse to myself?
no subject
perhaps being shot had been good for him.
there may have been, something in the way dazai looked at him that day on the bridge that caused fyodor to kiss him. it hadn't been experienced or soft or what kisses were supposed to be; that is perhaps why he wants to take it back. he's not thinking of trying again, the answer...
his eyes sweep over dazai. ] There are different ways of injuring someone. Body or soul, heart or bones.